Question 1

What is Mediation?

Accepted Answer

Mediation is an informal and confidential process in which all of the parties involved in a dispute meet with a mediator (a neutral third party) and discuss what happened, and how they would like to see the situation resolved. All parties need to agree to participate because mediation is voluntary. Courts sometimes mandate that parties attempt to mediate, but agreement is not mandated. Showing up and trying is all that is required to meet this mandate.
 
Mediators do not give legal or financial advice. They facilitate the conversation and assist the parties in reaching an agreement. Mediators work with the parties to help them communicate their needs or desires. Mediators do not make decisions for you or impose consequences. Each person involved in the conflict has a chance to talk, sharing thoughts, feelings, wants and needs. Sometimes venting emotions clears the air for progression toward a resolution. In court, parties or their attorneys present only the facts to the case. Although someone wins and someone loses it doesn’t mean that anyone feels satisfied or that the issues are completely resolved.
 
If an agreement is reached in mediation it is put in writing and signed by the participants. Any signed agreement can affect a parties’ legal rights in the future. In other words, you are most likely bound to your mediated agreement if you attempt to go further in a court proceeding. If no agreement is reached then pursuing the situation in court is a valid option.

Question 2

What if I don't trust the other side, or believe they will cooperate?"

Accepted Answer

The mediation process often encourages parties to begin to trust one another. Mediation offers you the opportunity to express what you need and desire. The mediator assists people in both sharing and hearing the actual message intended in a positive tone. As communication improves, understanding and trust follow. When negative emotions begin to diminish and trust develops, cooperation improves.

Question 3

I don’t want to discuss everything in front of the other side!

Accepted Answer

Not a problem. Part of the mediation process includes caucusing or private meetings. This is when the mediator meets individually with each party or groups with the same position. Anything discussed in caucus remains between the mediator and parties present unless the parties choose to share the information or invite the mediator to do so for them.

Question 4

I am NOT going to change my mind!

Accepted Answer

Mediation does not require that you change your mind. It does offer you the chance to express yourself and listen to the other person(s) involved in the dispute. It is an attempt to find a resolution through clear communication. The mediator is neutral and will not impose a resolution or make decisions for you!

Question 5

Is there really value in mediating?

Accepted Answer

Mediation can actually reduce your costs. You are not required to have an attorney present and there are no hidden fees. There are no filing fees or witness fees. Results are usually achieved with a lot less emotional out lay and are quicker than court proceedings. Mediation is not a waste of time unless you do not fully participate by listening to what the other parties say. No agreement is imposed or forced. A better understanding of the other participants may lead to an agreement in the future. At the very least, all parties have the chance to fully express feelings, wants, and needs without interruptions, which is not appropriate in court. The animosity that develops in litigation is particularly damaging in family law, where the parties may deal with each other for years after the trial is over. Rather than fostering hostility, mediation helps the parties develop the skills necessary to continue discussing, negotiating, and cooperating with each other for the long term. Learning the communication skills that promote a healthier relationship going forward.

Question 6

Do I need a lawyer? Can I bring my lawyer?

Accepted Answer

Lawyers are welcome, but not necessary. Only you can decide if you wish to have counsel present. If you want unlimited access to legal advice, feel safer or stronger with counsel present, bring your attorney. However, keep in mind you will need to pay him or her for their time. You may prefer to ask your attorney if he or she is willing to be available by phone to check in with. Some attorneys prefer to be present whenever clients mediate, especially in divorce cases. Keep in mind the average cost of a litigated divorce is about $25,000.

Question 7

Other Advantages to Mediation

Accepted Answer

Privacy: Often litigation involves matters the parties may wish to keep private. All documents filed with the court are public records that can be viewed upon request. Mediation, with its protection of confidentiality, is well suited to protect the privacy interests of the parties.
 
Creativity: The couple can be creative in crafting solutions to their unique issues whereas a judge, who must get through a big caseload, usually applies cookie cutter solutions without considering the couples uniqueness. Mediation is able to craft solutions where many times the law is restricted
 
Self-determination: This is YOUR agreement. No one knows what is best for you better than you do, and in mediation, all decisions are yours. There is no judge or arbitrator to impose a decision upon you.

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